Funny Jokes about Wanking
What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise
New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15
Extra large box of tissues: £2
The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: priceless
No YouPorn I do not want to play poker, I am at work
I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual checkup.
She told me that I have to stop wanking.
I asked, "why?"
She replied, "because I'm trying to examine you"
I organised a threesome last night... There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time
Nothing says "almost caught masturbating" like having your mom walk in on you looking at the Google homepage
I walked in on my daughter masturbating this morning. She is still too young to understand what I was doing, though
What's the most sensitive part of your body when you're having a wank?
Looks aren't everything, but you can't wank over personality
My wife said, "why is the laptop all sticky?"
I said, "it's not what you think, it's ice cream,"
She said, "how did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"
I said, "have you ever tried eating an ice cream whilst masturbating?"
I've been teaching my daughter about masturbation today and she's been asking loads of questions... Like, "when do I get to use my own hand?"
I wanked over a blind girl the other day. She didn't see me coming
More jokes to come... If you pardon the pun :-)